My Lust For Sex
“I was so glad to find a story at this site about another Christian female that was addicted to sex. However, she was 19, and I am in my forties.”
Sex became an addiction to me when I was only a teenager. I became promiscuous at a very early age. My father was always too busy for me and he and my mother were divorced when I was six.
Due to rejection of love from both parents, I turned to boys to find love, and my sexual addiction only escalated from there. I always had sex with almost every boyfriend I had from the time I was 15 on. I have no idea how I didn’t get pregnant—surely it must have been the grace of God. I always fell in love with each boy, but they always dumped me after they got the sex that they wanted.
I was saved as a teenager but because of my addiction to sex, my relationship with God has always been hindered—sometimes to an almost non-existent point. During the time I dated this man (who was 8 years older than I), I encountered bisexual relationships and learned that I had a very strong appetite for sex, whether it be with a man or a woman.
During that time, I basically put God on the shelf because I felt that God would rather I be hot or cold, and if I were lukewarm He would spew me out of his mouth.
“So, because you are lukewarm—neither hot nor cold—I am about to spit you out of my mouth.”
—Rev. 3:16
I now get on the Internet and go into chat rooms and have cybersex with anyone I can find—male or female. As usual I’ve put God on the shelf because there is no way I can pray to Him and ask for His forgiveness knowing fully well that when my hormones rage again, I will continue in my quest to fulfill my lust.
My spiritual life has never been this low, and I don’t know if I can recover. Hebrews 10 talks about tasting the Holy Spirit and then being given over to your lusts for the salvation of your soul.
“For if we sin wilfully after that we have received the knowledge of the truth, there remaineth no more sacrifice for sins…” —Hebrews 10:26
I’ve written a Christian message board site and asked for prayer. I didn’t get specific about my problems, just that I was failing and falling into a bottomless pit. My husband has participated sometimes and has been addicted to porn since he was also in his twenties. However, he gets convicted and goes back to church where I cannot. I cannot play games with God. I know I need deliverance, but I don’t know if I can give up my lusts just yet. I need help!
Please pray for me and the other women who also suffer from this addiction. It’s not just a man’s addiction any longer…
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