Victory Will Be Mine

I grew up in a Godly Christian home where both parents are Christians. Like most others, I was an active part in the church I used to go to. Everybody looked up to me and I guess I met all their expectations. I don’t remember when it started but it did.

I began to masturbate. It was out of frustration because I thought that I was ugly compared to my other sister and it seemed like my mother always had to find ways to let me know that. Eventually, I did it everyday or whenever I got the chance to.

I hate it because when I masturbate on Saturday, I have to go to church on Sunday morning to lead worship and sunday school. I decided to take drastic measures. Although I own a television, I gave it away so that the temptation of late night TV will not be something that I will have to contend with. Also, I look at no pornographic materials. If I ever get them in my e-mail, I block the address because the Bible says, “I will set no evil thing before my eyes.” I also listen to a lot of praise and worship music and try my best to read my Bible daily. I feel that slowly God is working in my life. I still fight with the thought of masturbation but slowly God is taking the desire away.

I am not totally over it but I have come to realize that God cares about me and that he is always there to help me. Right now, I have a boyfriend and I have purposed in my heart never to have sex before marriage. However, we have had problems of love making but I am finally saying no to him. It is hard regardless of the fact that he is a Christian.

I believe and know that it is a fact. I used to masturbate because I thought that I was worth nothing, or because I was depressed. Whenever the sexual thoughts come to mind, I rebuke them immediately in the name of Jesus. However because of the years of this practise a rebuke is not enough. So I recite 1 Corinthians 10:13,

“No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able to bear it.” (NKJV)

Hallelujah & Praise the Lord! Victory one day over masturbation, pornographic thoughts and all the other evils will be mine. I believe in God’ saving power and I look hard for the door. Thank you, Jesus.

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