Colombiana

In Colombia 1992, Cataleya is just a young girl when her parents are murdered. Before his death, her father gives her a microchip and the address of a U.S. Embassy. Due to the valuable information within the data, Cataleya is able to obtain passage to the United States. Upon landing in Miami, she finds her way to her uncle. She wastes no time in telling him that she wants him to train her how to become a killer.

Fifteen years later, Cataleya (Zoe Saldana) is a trained assassin who draws her signature flower on all her victims, hoping to draw out her parents’ killer. Despite her uncle’s warnings, Cataleya continues her hunt for vengeance. In between killings, she often visits an up-and-coming artist Danny (Michael Vartan). Though he falls for her, Cataleya keeps her distance and remains focused on tracking down those responsible for murdering her family.

I’m a fan of Zoe Saldana, but she isn’t given much to work with here; this movie’s script is too weak. All the secondary characters are very flat and limited. Catelya herself is a single-minded assassin without much of a personality. And since she survives near preposterous feats, the movie becomes a bit boring while waiting for her to finally track down her parents’ killers.

The film is technically action-packed, moving from murder to murder. However, in doing so, many plot points are either skipped or never answered. We’re never given a reason why Cataleya’s parents are gunned down or even the contents of the microchip. Perhaps the movie would have been stronger if some time was taken to show more character development, e.g., her uncle’s training sessions or even how she met Danny.

Though the violence is heavy and constant, “Colombiana” was able to receive its PG-13 rating due to little blood and the camera shifting away right before impacts. Either way, several people are murdered. Some are gunned down, eaten by sharks, strangled or stabbed. Another is electrocuted while in a bathtub. As a little girl, Cataleya stabs a man in the hand. Two dogs are given the command to eat one of the criminals, but this occurs offscreen, except for a brief blood splatter.

The profanity is around the 20 mark. There’s about 10 sh_t, 1 ‘f” word, 1 GD, 2 SOB, etc. Throughout the movie, Cataleya is often shown in little clothing. On a couple occasions, she’s shown taking off her bra (just her back shown), walking around either braless or in her underwear. During one scene, she kisses her boyfriend while in her bra and panties. She’s also shown in the shower. Before his death, one of her assassination targets is surrounded by women in lingerie, while they smoke some kind of substance.

Cataleya seeks vengeance and ends up losing even more. By the end of the movie, she’s left utterly alone. In this regard, the movie succeeds in showing that seeking revenge will often leave you with nothing. God tells us that vengeance is his (Romans 12:19). I don’t recommend “Colombiana”; my advice is to skip it entirely.

Violence: Heavy / Profanity: Moderate / Sex/Nudity: Heavy

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