The Pyramid

In Egypt, a team of archaeologists discover something so amazing, that it is sure to redefine history as we know it… a three-sided pyramid! A rare find indeed. Unfortunately, the discovery creates a lot of protest in the streets and the military tells the group of researchers, Nora, her boyfriend Michael, her father Dr. Holden, Sunni, and Sunni’s cameraman Fitzi, to vacate the premises immediately.

Nora is furious and asks Michael if he can send his new robot camera into the pyramid for just a couple of hours to grab some shots before they have to leave. So, Michael sends his robot, and it mysteriously shuts down. Michael claims they have to go into the pyramid and get it (he apparently “borrowed” the robot from NASA). At first, the group is hesitant, but seeing that they really have no choice (it’s a million dollar toy!), they go in. However, they’re about to discover why that pyramid was built. “Not to keep people from getting in, but from something from getting out,” says Dr. Holden.

My bottom-line evaluation: Stay away from “The Pyramid.” I walked in thinking, “Alright, rated R for some horror and bloody images. So I’ll get a good scare. What’s the worse that can happen?” Wrong assumption. I ignored the part of the poster that said “From the director of ‘The Hills Have Eyes’,” and sure enough I was exposed to 90 minutes of the most graphic and horrific violence I have ever laid eyes on. The only positive thing I can point out is the performances, but there is little character development.

Please be aware there is some graphic content in the following sections. Read with caution.

Violence: Extreme in every possible way. There’s a scene where Michael’s legs are crushed from a giant piece of the ceiling falling down on him. We hear him scream. As the team rushes to go get help and find a way out, they return and his body has been chewed on and a trail of blood is seen. One character also has his heart ripped out, another person lands on giant spikes, and we hear her intense screams (as the rest of the group tries to pull the body while she is still alive, she screams, and we see a lot of blood on the spike. She is also being eaten by some creatures), and yet another character we watch as their flesh falls off their face. There is other content I am probably forgetting to mention, but to be honest, do you really want to hear more?

Profanity: Profanity count is a** (2x), h*ll (7), sh*t (9), bloody (the British slang for the f-bomb) (2), O.M.G. (2), and Jesus’ name is used in vain twice.

Sex/Nudity: Moderate. There is a really out-of-the-moment scene where Nora’s boyfriend Michael uses his robot camera to spy on Nora undressing in a tent. Nora is seen taking off her bra in the mirror (her backside and one of her breasts can be partially seen). The robot also takes pictures of Nora in her underwear. This goes on for a few minutes. Nora later responds to the event and says that that wasn’t the “million dollar territory he was suppose to be researching.” Michael and Nora share a few passionate kisses.

Other Content: There is an excessive amount of blood in the movie—trails of it in the pyramid, multiple shots of rotting flesh (with some parts missing), giant rats, a ferocious creature, and a descriptive conversation about how the Egyptians tortured their prisoners. There’s a scene involving poisonous gas, as well.

Unfortunately, there are no redeeming morals or themes I can draw from “The Pyramid.”

Some people enjoy the gore films like the “Saw” movies or even the “The Hills Have Eyes.” I’m not one of them though. The MPA “R” rating is correct but the description needed to be lengthened to include “extreme graphic violence, horror, and bloody images.” I don’t recommend “The Pyramid” to anyone, period. If you do decide to see “The Pyramid,” all I can say is… don’t eat anything before hand.

Violence: Extreme / Profanity: Moderate / Sex/Nudity: Moderate

See list of Relevant Issues—questions-and-answers.