A Minecraft Movie

Positive—“A Minecraft Movie” has challenged my whole perspective on the art of cinema. Never in a long time have I seen a film so corporatized and yet full of soul, trying too hard to be funny and gaining the laughs anyway, and all around poorly constructed and yet constantly entertaining. I can’t call it a so-bad-it’s-good film because there are some legitimately good things about it from the visuals to the committed performances from Jack Black and Jason Momoa. But it also fails as a film on many levels that I can’t it good. It’s almost like this is a film that knows it’s going to be a dumb kids movie meant to appeal to those who play the game and it just has fun with it. Why do the creatures all look so horrifying in a hyperrealistic setting? Why does Jack Black randomly break out into song? Why does Jennifer Coolidge go on a date with a villager? The point of this film isn’t in the answers, it’s that you’re just along for the ride.

From a Christian standpoint, there are some things to object to, though none of them are really major or push the PG rating that much. There are some frightening images and action violence that might be too much for small children, there is some occasional mild language (h*ll, cr*p, several misuses of God’s name), and some suggestive remarks that caught me a bit off guard.

On the positive side, there is an attempted message at using your creativity for good and that while it’s easy to destroy things, it’s even better to create something (which when applied to the villain, brings to mind John 10:10), but it’s not well built up enough for it to really give the film a strong heart. For parents with kids under the age of 9, I would suggest exercising parental guidance before taking your kids to see “A Minecraft Movie.” For anyone over that age though who is familiar enough with Minecraft to keep up, this is a theatrical experience you won’t soon forget.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Average / Moviemaking quality: 3

…irritating… Idiotic video game film stomps on your brain… Mine all you like. You’ll never find any smarts in this cavern of stupidity. …[1/4]

…Dreadful Minecraft Movie will make you want to block your memory of moviegoing…

…the story focuses on bringing people from the “real world” into the Minecraft game world but, once it gets them there, it doesn’t quite know what to do with them. …a scattershot storyline and whiplash-inducing tone inconsistencies. …

…“A Minecraft Movie” isn’t nearly as good as “The Super Mario Bros. Movie.” It’s not even as good as “Dungeons & Dragons: Honor Among Thieves” …“A Minecraft Movie” is just a flaky, spirited, low-hijinks quest comedy…

…left me cold… ignores what makes the video game so special. …

…offers no surprises… Black…is tuned to an exhausting pitch throughout.

…The “story” is overwhelmed by pages and pages of game-explaining exposition… Black and Momoa and Jennifer Coolidge, playing another variation of her oversexed MILF persona as the school principal, commit to the their roles and raise the bar for how hammy and over-the-top this picture will be performed. …[1½/4]

…To compensate, the estimable actors here all scream their lines in misguided efforts to make this seem like fun. …

…a block of tortured inspiration… “A Minecraft Movie”…shows that, perhaps more often than virtual farming, watching Hollywood cash grabs can be a real chore. [1½/4]

…mines new depths in a blockheaded corporate cash-in… The placid, open-ended charm of its video game source material is nowhere to be found in this grindingly generic brand extension… [2/5]