Snow White

Negative—In 1934, while Walt Disney was undertaking the biggest project of his career, those around him in the industry were unsure. They scoffed at the idea of a fully animated film. Surely, the colors would hurt the audience’s eyes. Surely, the comedy would quickly run dry. Animation can last seven minutes, but sixty? The masterpiece we know as Snow White and the Seven Dwarves, was at the time, secretly called Disney’s Folly.

Now, in this review, I could be equally judgmental. The Internet was as judgmental of this film in its earliest stages as Walt’s companions were of his. I could get enraged, as something considered culturally sacred is unearthed and exploited. I could irately assert my deepest frustration, and exclaim that this remake of Snow White is nothing but a horrific cash grab which strips itself of all the artistic and historical merit its predecessor had, solely in the name of sycophantic, socially opportunistic appeasement.

But I can’t muster the emotion. At this point, it simply isn’t surprising. We’re so uninspired at this point all that’s left to do is tear into what came before us. In 1937, Disney’s Folly turned out to be a simple fairy tale, brought to life with the help of unimaginable talent and exceptional care. An uncomplicated celebration of basic virtues, universal truths, and sincere goodness. That very same Walt Disney died in 1966, having not made a folly at all.

Because the original Snow White was made at a time where the theater was a getaway from an impoverished United States that needed genuine originality. Where what was shown onscreen was as bright and as shining as the light that projected it.

“Snow White”, this Snow White, is made at a time where the United States lives in luxury. So the screen has gone from an opulent canvas to a soiled computer, where we can pay the rich and mighty to program plastic pictures of preachy propaganda. Walt Disney’s “Snow White and the Seven Dwarves” is an effortless film, that tells the story of a gentle soul whose choice to stay true to their heart results in true love.

Disney’s new “Snow White” tells the story of a gentle soul that seeks to regain control of her kingdom by joining a sardonic group of violent bandits who help her fight her way back into power. Eighty-eight years later, “Snow White” finally became Disney’s Folly.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Offensive / Moviemaking quality: ½

Negative—I haven’t seen something self-implode this hard since that titan submarine.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Very Offensive / Moviemaking quality: 1

…Conceptually, this movie was doomed from the start. …“Snow White” is supposed to be a story about how inner beauty is more important than outer beauty, but honestly, this movie has neither.

…This movie is bad in all sorts of ways, none of which has to do with the fact that Disney cast a Latina actor as Snow White. …

…Children will be bored, teens talked down to, and most adults will wonder where their Snow White is. …

…Uninspired… Aesthetically…disastrous… looks appallingly cheap for a blockbuster… Snow White as a “Rebellion Hero” is fun on paper, but the live-action remake doesn’t engage enough with that transformation or mine it for proper character drama; it just expects you to connect the dots. … [2/5]

…the story of Snow White taking back her kingdom doesn’t land. I doubt anyone’s going to this expecting a political thriller, but that’s how the movie sets itself up, and it fails. …

…exhaustingly awful… This fudged, pseudo-progressive approach is so tiring you’ll want to put your head in your hands. … [1/5]

…Every modification fails to improve the tale, and the whimsy and wonder of fairy tales are missing. It does not honor the original but shuns it instead. …Why is romance now forbidden in children’s movies? Let’s be clear: Snow White and Jonathan will never live happily ever after. …The music is excellent, but the lyrics are an issue. …The acting…is a bit over-the-top. …the dwarves…are creepy as hell… [2/4]

…The dwarves are an unholy VFX disaster. …they slow the film to a crawl every time they appear… the film feels compromised and so small… [2/5]

…one more boring, mediocre live-action Disney retread… The timeless classic, a groundbreaking achievement for animation, has been turned into another pointless and awkward live-action automaton that vanishes from your mind the second it’s over. …

…none of it has the sweetness and imagination of the animated feature…

…There’s an unresolved tension between paying tribute to the playfulness of a Disney classic and telling a story driven by themes of self-empowerment and revolutionary courage that have little to do with the original tale. …The film seems to be political only to prove that it isn’t apolitical. … [2/4]

…Full of bad ideas… so let’s try to be positive. There’s nothing wrong with Disney’s live-action remake of “Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs” that couldn’t be fixed by making it 26 minutes shorter, 88 years ago and in hand-drawn animation. …

…not as bad as it could be, while not being anywhere near good… It’s garishly ugly… the movie itself is devoid of delight… The most pragmatic aspect of “Snow White” is that with its plasticky set design and gift-shop-tacky costuming, it already looks like it takes place in a theme park—no adaptations necessary.

…the pacing is off. …Half of it is set in a grimy, gloomy land where Snow White wants to foment a peasants’ revolt and restore a socialist utopia… This has to be the closest a Disney princess film has got to paraphrasing The Communist Manifesto. …half of it is set in a chirpy, brightly-coloured fantasy realm of benign and beautiful aristocrats. Half the time, the characters are belting out overwrought, self-empowerment anthems… this muddled production will be enjoyed more by politics and cinema students than by children who are hoping to be enchanted by Disney magic. … [3/5]

…There are elements…that work. Then, there are the dwarfs… If only there were…less screen time spent dancing in the realm of mind-breaking absurdity. …Narratively, there are a lot of flaws, but it’s aesthetically where the movie really falls apart. …

…No Magic Mirror is needed to identify it as the lamest Mouse House re-do of them all. …

…For every attempt to replicate majestic shots from the original or to give them a bit of technological oomph (perhaps most effective as sunlight breaks through Snow White’s fearful first trip through the forest), there is a spurt of modern quippiness that pulls the audience in the other direction. It’s a disorienting…

…Of all the stories in all the world to remake on the big screen, why “Snow White”? … it’s hard to come up with a compelling reason for this movie to exist. …

…Presumably one of the reasons to bring actors into remakes of animated classics would be to add a warm-blooded pulse to these characters. Zegler manages that, but everyone else in “Snow White” — mortal or CGI — is as stiff as could be. …

…The fairest in the land? Far from it. …

…a lazily conceived, visually repellent remake… features a dud of a performance from Gal Gadot as the Evil Queen… What’s most disheartening about it all is how predictable Disney’s choices have become. With Snow White, they’ve finessed their formula—do the bare minimum to make a film, then simply slap a bunch of cutesy CGI animals all over it and hope no one notices.

Negative—I was going to see this movie but when I heard about this movie I said no way.
My Ratings: Moral rating: Offensive / Moviemaking quality: ½