Ted

Sequel: “Ted 2” (2015)

Ah, the joys of waking up on Christmas morning to find many surprises under the Christmas tree! But a young boy named John Bennett received the biggest surprise of his life when his new stuffed bear Teddy, came to life all because of a wish he made one Christmas night. John was a boy who didn’t have many friends so Ted became his first true and only friend. As we flash forward to the future John is now thirty-five, living with his girlfriend Lori, and working for a car rental service. However, Lori feels that Ted needs to move out of their apartment and move on with his life so they can move on with their own. But this causes problems for both John and Ted and this leads them on an unexpected journey that they will never forget.

“Ted” is a story about true friendship and brotherly love. But it’s also a story about drugs, alcohol, sex, and even more drugs. Before I weigh out the positive elements of this film, I will list some of the offensive content below:

Sexual Content: “Ted contains plenty of sexual dialog, including crude references to various sex acts and male and female anatomy. Many characters wear formfitting outfits which display lots of cleavage and exposed legs (especially in one club scene, which includes suggestive dancing). We also see Lori wrapped in just a towel, in one scene. In order to impress a co-worker at his new job, Ted starts to perform various sex acts at a cash register. We later see his furry backside trying to have sex with her (no nudity and only her legs are seen). Lori also walks in on Ted lounging on a couch with a group of scantily clad women, which he later says are hookers. Ted also grabs a woman’s clothed breast in public.

As I mentioned above, John and Lori live together, so we see one scene with them sharing the same bed and another scene where Lori starts to straddle him on a couch. They kiss passionately many times throughout the film. When Ted throws a party at his new apartment, he makes out with the same check stand girl, and we later see him drawing a picture on a woman’s bare breasts. During a fight between John and Ted, Ted pulls down John’s pants (exposing his rear-end) and starts to beat him with a TV antenna (played for laughs). There are also a few moments of homosexuality, when we see two gay men holding hands in one scene and later kissing in another.

Crude and Profane Language: The f-word is used more than 50 times, the s-word nearly 40 times, and the a-word nearly 15 times. Other milder profanities such as h*ll, b*tch, and b*stard are used a handful of times, as well. God’s name is abused nearly 20 times (twice paired with d*mn), and Jesus’ name is nearly abused 10 times (once or twice paired with the f-word). Words such as d*ck and p*ssy are used as put downs, and Lorie uses the c-word, directing it towards one of Ted’s girlfriends. The words sl*t and wh*re are used a couple of times, as well.

Violent Content: Although the violence can be a bit intense, at times, it is performed in a comedic matter and mostly played for laughs. There is some mild bullying in the beginning of the movie when a bunch of kids decide to beat up a boy because he’s Jewish. During a party scene, Ted performs a knife trick that goes awry, when he accidentally stabs a guy’s hand (we see the wound, and there’s blood). Later on in the scene, Ted’s angry neighbor comes over, which results in a fight between John and the neighbor and Ted and the neighbor’s goose. Ted and John get into a fight, with the end result of a TV landing on top of John. There is also a car chase with a few crashes, and John punches a young boy in the face (which knocks him out cold), after he tries to attack him. ***SPOILER*** Ted gets kidnapped and gets his ear torn off by the same boy John hits. Later, the boy’s father ends up tearing Ted in half, after chasing him through Fenway Park. There is no blood, but Ted’s stuffing flies everywhere. ***END SPOILER***

Drug and Alcohol Content: Ted and John love to drink, but if Ted had a second best friend, it would probably be marijuana. In a few scenes, we see Ted smoking a bong, and in one of those scenes, John partakes, as well. There is also cocaine usage, and we later see the after effects it has on John, Ted, and well, Flash Gordon. John is also seen carrying a bag of marijuana in one scene. Shots of alcohol are consumed by the characters, and various types of beer get consumed numerous times. John and Lorie also appear to be drinking wine and champagne at a restaurant.

Other Negative Elements: If there is one thing Seth McFarlane does best, it’s to make fun of everyone and everything. In the script, characters poke fun at Jews, Christians, Muslims, African Americans, Caucasians, homosexuals, and celebrities. There is also a disrespectful joke made about September 11 and jokes made about Parkinson’s Disease. Characters make crude jokes about “farting,” and we hear some of the noises. We also briefly see some feces on floor. We later learn that Ted dared one of his hooker friends to do it (Lorie later cleans it up in disgust). John and Ted also use their middle fingers in one scene, and in a television clip Ted’s middle finger gets censored. There are also many broken promises made by characters, but in some cases they learn their lesson.

Positive Elements: There are positive messages about moving on in life and messages about brotherly love. Ted also learns that sometimes being a “third wheel” in someone’s relationship can cause problems along the road and that sometimes you just need to move on. Marriage is also respected. As I noted above about promises being broken, the film displays that sometimes promises need to be broken in order to help someone who may be hurting or in need. Some viewers may have issues with this theme, but I believe as a follower of Christ that when it comes to tough decisions in life promises may need to be broken in order to prevent tragedy down the road.

The overall filmmaking quality is pretty impressive from first time director Seth MacFarlane. Although the story is a bit predictable and cliché, I still enjoyed some of it, despite the offensive material. The acting was impressive, the animators did a great job bringing Ted to life, and the entire film flowed smoothly from start to finish. I didn’t observe any holes in the plot, but the script could have used some improvements. Overall, this is a well made comedy.

If there is one negative theme “Ted” displays best, it’s “don’t take care of your body.” In other words, “Ted” displays numerous moments of drugs, alcohol, and sex with minimal to no consequences. 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 states,

“do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.” (ESV)

In other words, God created us and intended for us to take care of our bodies; not just throw them away. We should also be reminded to…

“flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body” (1 Corinthians 6:18 ESV)

and…

“wine is a mocker, strong drink a brawler, and whoever is led astray by it is not wise” (Proverbs 20:1 ESV)

This Proverb is a perfect example of the party thrown in the film.

Although “Ted” sends out some positive messages about life and family, I can’t recommend it. The drug and alcohol content are very high in this film, and there is plenty of sexual content. Numerous religions and races are mocked, and there are many disrespectful jokes made about certain types of people.

However, since the film does send some positive messages, is limited to one “sex” scene (if you really want to call it that), and has fewer profanities than most other films within its genre, I will knock it down from an “extremely offensive” to a “very offensive” (if that even says much). “Ted” may appear to be an innocent film about a man living with his magical bear, but its story is filled with lies, deceit, and immorality.

Violence: Moderate to heavy / Profanity: Extreme / Sex/Nudity: Very Heavy

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